No woman enters a marriage knowing that her husband will be the kind of man her mother always tried to warn her about – or is my assumption wrong?
Here’s a scenario.
Your husband went home drunk and says to you, “you always…” or “you never…” or other things. Your instinct will tell you to retaliate instantly.
If your husband is angry, upset, furious even – let him vent. Then, once everything cooled down a bit, say back, “so if I understand you right, you feel (your hubby’s negative emotion) and (elaborate on it), correct?”
“Please tell me more about that?” You say. At this point his anger is going down a bit. So maybe he trusts you and tells you more about why he’s angry. He may calm down as he’s elaborating it, which is what you want in the first place – a calm discussion.
NOW we can start working on the real issue – because until we deal with the emotions, the issue isn’t the real issue – the emotions are.
Now if you’ve tried everything your mom told you to do (things that worked on your pup) as well as the suggestions of your marriage counselor – if your husband spiraled into a frenzied monster who threatens you, perhaps even striking you – no it’s NOT an accident.
You need help. In this case, you need assistance from domestic violence lawyers in your area. These experts will provide you with legal advice and aid your need against an abusive relationship.
Here’s a few more tricks in dealing with your husband’s anger:
Don’t take it personally – most of it. Sometimes he’s not angry at you, but at the circumstances he’s in. Perhaps due to testosterone, men are some of the most violent individuals and while they don’t walk around the majority of the day abusing and attacking their wives, they can lash out at home.
Behind his violent shield, a threatening husband is feeling threatened – perhaps not by you, but by someone or something. Their anger is reflected on you only in a way in which some actions you took stirred some discomforting emotions within them.
Don’t engage in ego battles and get historical. Sometimes it’s the ego we’re dealing with here. Some women are also famous for being an egoist, not to mention that we get historical about things when fighting with our husbands. Don’t bring up past hurts and obstacles that you’ve already suffered through in the past.
Avoid these two at all cost and you’re well on your way to a peaceful resolution.
Prefer sanity and calm. An angry person is looking for a reason to fight. Through your husband’s escalation and unfair accusations, you’ll know that he wants you to engage.
Take it from Eric Hoffer, “rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”
So, what do you need in the presence of a hot-headed husband? Simple. A cool-headed and understanding wife. Never indulge their anger. When they shout, counter it with a soft voice or silence. When they come close, keep your distance.
You win by disengaging.
These tips cover some of the things you can do when dealing with an angry husband. Hope you can deal with yours peacefully. If not, or if your husband becomes mentally or physically abusive, then domestic violence lawyers are just a phone call away.
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