Body hair serves a purpose, but sometimes it’s out of control. Most body hair isn’t a problem, but that’s not the case with buttcrack hair. Wouldn’t it be nice if it disappeared? It won’t disappear on it’s own, but there’s nothing stopping you from shaving it off.
It’s safe to shave your buttcrack, but it’s not like shaving your face or any other part of your body. If you’ve never shaved down there before, this article will help you figure it out.
Before getting into how to shave your furry butt, let’s look at why you should do it.
Butt hair is inconvenient
Few things in life can inconvenience you like butt hair. For example, you probably know what it’s like to make a mad dash for the restroom in a public place only to realize dry toilet paper isn’t going to cut it. Wiping a hairy butt with dry toilet paper is like scraping peanut butter through a carpet.
If you were at home you could wet a paper towel under the sink or grab some wet wipes. In a public restroom with stalls, you’re stuck. If you didn’t grab wet paper towels on the way into the stall, it’s too late to save your butt. It’s risky to make a mad dash to the sink with your pants around your ankles. You could pull your pants up, but that’s just gross.
Everyone with a hairy butt in America has faced this dilemma numerous times. Dry paper isn’t kind to anyone with a hairy buttcrack. Experts warn against using dry toilet paper, saying it won’t remove feces and over-wiping can lead to fissures or hemorrhoid irritation. Using a bidet is the obvious answer, but the only time an American is likely to encounter a bidet is when they travel out of the country. Countries like Spain, Japan, Italy, and Greece all use bidets as a standard. In India, you get a bucket of water and a hose!
Despite the fact that using a bidet is more hygienic, most Americans still think dry toilet paper is a practical way to wipe their butt. In fact, Americans aren’t just ignorant of bidets – they’re opposed to bidets. A study conducted by kitchen and bath product manufacturer Kohler found 56% of Americans are unwilling to use a bidet.
Americans need to get over the idea of spraying water up their butts
Fear of the unknown drives many of our decisions. Americans don’t like the idea of spraying water up their butt even though it’s the only sanitary way to clean it.
“In a wide world that has long embraced the effectiveness of anus-washing after doing number two,” writes Terri Coles from Vice, “America hangs back, clutching our rolls of Charmin, despite plenty of evidence that it would serve us better to wash instead of wipe. We may be obsessed with sanitation, yet we insist, against reason, on the least-sanitary, least-healthy option for managing our poop.”
A cleaner butt is just a shave away
If you want a cleaner butt, you need to shave your butt fur. Consider using an eco-friendly shaving soap bar to reduce waste. A clean-shaven butt won’t make toilet paper work better, but when you don’t have a hairy butt, you won’t have to battle the unsanitary nature of toilet paper as much.
There are many reasons to shave your rear end; a clean butt is just one. Regardless of your motivation, here’s how to do it:
- Set yourself up with a proper view
No matter how far forward you can bend, you’ll never get a clear view of the butt hair you’re trying to shave. If you don’t set yourself up with a good view using a mirror, you’ll be shaving blind.
Get a mirror to place on the ground between your feet so you can get a good view of the area you’ll be shaving. Travel mirrors are perfect for the job. Oh, and please buy a mirror dedicated to shaving your ass. Your clippings will fall right onto the mirror, and you don’t want to accidentally use that mirror for shaving your face on your next camping trip. It’s also a good idea to buy dedicated clippers for the job.
- Prepare for your shave by trimming with an electric razor
Begin your butt shaving adventure with electric clippers. There are clippers designed specifically for shaving your crotch area that are small, waterproof, and nic-proof. These clippers don’t require a guard. If you’re using standard clippers, never ever ever trim your buttcrack with no guard. You could easily clip your flesh, and your ass is a dangerous place for an open wound.
Depending on your goals, you’ll want to shave to a different length. If you’re planning on getting your butt waxed, trim no shorter than a quarter inch. That’s the minimum length required for waxing. Waxing hair shorter than a quarter inch won’t pull it out from the root.
If you plan on shaving your butt, trim your hair as short as possible to make it easier. If you just want to trim the weeds a bit, you’ll probably find a longer setting to be acceptable. When you trim instead of wet shaving, you won’t have to deal with an itchy butt when the hair starts growing back.
If your butt hair isn’t long enough to trim significantly, but you find it annoying, you’re probably better off getting it waxed.
- Take a warm (not hot) shower
Just like you’d prepare your face for a shave with hot water or steam, you need to do the same for your butt. Since you’ve just shaved a sensitive area, take a warm shower instead of a hot shower. Shaving makes your skin more sensitive and hot water might burn.
Wash your nether region to get rid of the stray hairs your electric razor left behind. By the time you’re done, your pores will be open and you’ll be ready to shave.
When you step out of the shower and dry off, you may as well put pre-shave butter back there.
- Get out your dedicated butt-shaving razor
If you’re brave enough to put a blade to your butt, make sure you use a brand new and dedicated cartridge razor for each shave. Don’t use a safety razor or a straight razor – that’s just asking for trouble.
If you trimmed first, your mirror will already be on the ground. Grab your shaving cream and lather up your butt. Using the mirror on the ground, start shaving.
There is a learning curve, but it gets easier each time you do it.
- Take another shower
When you’re done shaving, get back in the shower for the final time and wash up. End your shower on the cold side to close your pores. When you’re all done, you’ll have a clean, smooth, hair-free butt!
Remember to take care of your buttcrack shaving tools
Be sure to keep your butt shaving tools clean. Clean your electric razor with alcohol regularly to disinfect it. Or, buy a new razor with a replaceable head and replace that head often. When shaving to the skin, always use a new cartridge head and never reuse it on your face.
As you go about your day, be proud of yourself for having a clean, well-groomed butt. If you took the time to shave it, you deserve to be proud.